a mothers prayer

while packing tonight i kept touching the boys clothes. i can tell you where we were each time they wore there outfit for the first time. I'm odd like that. i love to put my nose in their neck and smell them. you know, that sweet little boy smell. its a cross between outside air, & cupcakes mixed with a little mud. i love their little hands. when we are walking and they gently slide their hand into mine. or when they are playing and they spontaneously say MOM I LOVE YOU!! nothing gets better than that. i want to see them marry..go to college...be BAPTISED...and learn to read. i wanna be a grandma. i want to shower those babies with unconditional love. i was packing Zekes clothes. it was hard. awful and gut wrenching. I've seen a friend loose a child. i cant. i simply cant. i don't think that there would be enough air to breath..enough light to see or enough of my God to heal me. so this is my prayer. dont let this be the last time i carry him out of our home. let him grow old fall in love and have little red headed babies. please God let us bring him home. amen